SISARINA SPEAKS

by Melanie Spring, Sisarina (@Sisarina)

In the online age of social media and blogging, we have become an openly snarky generation of people. When we don't like what someone has to say, we can quickly shoot off a hurtful comment as an email, tweet or a blog post comment so that person can read it and know 'where they stand' with you. The news does it, companies do it… but in the end, it's still people doing it. We hear it and do it so frequently that we don't even realize it's happening. I'm prone to playing the game myself.

GRACE DEFINED
I've recently been finding myself giving out more grace than I normally would and seeing its beautiful returns in business and in my personal life. There have been clients that were polite in the beginning but who became unkind later in the project. I realized that it had to do with my attitude and their reaction to it. When I realized that all I had to do was allow graciousness to leave my mouth, I saw a great deal of change in how others reacted to me.

Grace is defined as 'elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action' and 'a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment' along with 'favor or good will.' This is quite the opposite of the word 'snarky' which is 'sarcastic, impertinent, or irreverent in tone or manner.'

RESPECT
Have you had a client yell at you for something that wasn't your fault or tell you that you are wrong when you know you're not? Maybe they were having a bad day. Or maybe they are just plain rude. No matter the reason for their disrespect, do you disrespect them back or give them a little bit of grace?

Most of the time our snarkiness comes from the fact that we don't have respect for the person or thing we are directing it at. Many other times it's due to our own insecurities. Why do we feel the need to put down others to make ourselves feel better?

MOTHERLY ADVICE
Do you remember your mother telling you that if you stop responding to your sibling they'll stop doing that pestering thing that frustrates you? As an adult, I finally put this into practice and have much better relationships with my clients and colleagues when I don't feed into their snarkiness. It's not to say that I don't get snarky but I definitely watch myself a lot more. I follow positive people, I create positivity in projects and I spend time with positive friends. Our moms were right - hang out with positive people, you'll be positive.

Graciousness comes in when you speak to someone respectfully even when you don't feel they deserve it. The goal of graceousness is to be positive, uplifting and respectful to those around you - in social media, with your clients, around your friends, at work and with your family. There's a big difference between being silly & being snarky. Being snarky is only being hurtful. Practice that grace & see how much further it gets you.

How will you practice graciousness?