by Mary Kate of Mary Kate McKenna Photography
Note to self: be prepared for big answers when you ask for them.
In 2007, On my way back from the trip of a lifetime to Burma, on an 18 hour flight from Bangkok to New York City, I asked the universe for a sign.
I closed my eyes, brought my feet up to my chest, and wrapped my arms around my legs.
I asked for a sign that would tell me what direction I needed to be going.
I asked for something to happen to show me what I need to be focusing on.
I asked for a sign to prove to me that photography and travel were supposed to be such a large part of my life.
The first day back at my government job (as a contractor), I found out that I had been let go. A huge budget cut had ravaged our office, and my position, along with a few others, had been eliminated. BAM.
I mean, did I need a bigger sign?
For all intensive purposes, I was a cubicle monkey at my government job. I worked in a fantastic office with really great people. I walked four blocks to work. I got to travel a lot (to some really nice places, too) and the work I did I felt had meaning. I really liked my job, but I didn't love it. And in fact, unless I had been let go, I can't say I would have ever left. It was comfortable. I loved that steady paycheck every two weeks. I enjoyed being surrounded by co-workers who felt passionately about their work- I just wished I felt as strongly about it as they did.
I have always loved photography. I have been taking photos since I was nine. I did it on the side in college and that continued to do it when I was hired as a contractor. In fact, my bosses supported my photography and were always thinking of ways to incorporate it into my work. I was very lucky that I had management who loved that I had a skill that wasn't in the job description, but was eager to use for their organization. I got to photograph some amazing things for this large government organization and meet some truly inspiring people. My bosses were the type of people we all long to work for... except I didn't want to work for anyone.
I thought I was being a spoiled brat. I had a great job right out of college with benefits and perks that others would kill for, and I wasn't content. I dreaded Mondays. I counted down the minutes until I could go to lunch and leave for the day. I wanted to be anywhere else but in this office.
Soon I was working 7:30am-4:30pm at my cubicle, and going home at night to edit weddings and photo sessions until 2am. In the fall of 2006, I was working 40 hours a week at my “real” job and putting in 60 hours a week into my photography “business” and I realized that something had to change. I needed to do one or the other. But having no background in business or really in photo, I decided that keeping my safe job was best.
But the universe wasn't going to let that happen. Just as I was attempting to do less photo work, more came pouring in. I was being published in magazines. I had students calling me for internships. I felt like I was living two lives. 4:30 stopped being quitting time and became Round Two.
I was single and secretly loved it. Two incomes without a husband. But when you're 22, this type of lifestyle is OK. What I quickly realized was that this wasn't something I could do forever, especially if I wanted to enjoy my life. I never saw friends, couldn't date, and my mind was always in business mode. My family will tell you that when I came home for the holidays my laptop was always attached to my body. I knew it wasn't right, but I didn't have a choice... I was drowning.
When I walked out of that meeting with my bosses, I was sad. I truly enjoyed my work there. I felt I had more to give and offer. But it was over. They promised to help me find another job, but I knew, even then, that I'd never work for another company again unless it was my own. I was thankful and humbled by their kind words, but hey, I had asked for this sign. And now I needed to follow through.
News spread quickly through the office and everyone gave their condolences. It was hard not to blurt out, “I'll be fine - I'm excited!” But I really was excited. I couldn't wait to make Round Two of my routine Round One and concentrate on what I was passionate about. My friends and family were all supportive. I could do this. They gave me two months at my job. I took two weeks.
And close to four years later, I'm still my own boss. It's not always easy and I don't always know the right answer. Sometimes I don't get to pay myself. Sometimes I work 100 hour weeks. And now, after years of fighting an office environment, I share office space with two other creative businesses. And I love it.
You'll hear this a lot among business owners, but it's so true - if you love your work, you'll never feel like it's work. And that's true, most of the time, anyway. There are days when things are so difficult I think back to my cubicle days and wish I could punch out at 4:30 and just go home.
But then there are days when I photograph a wedding, and I'm starting to put my equipment away for the drive home, and the bride and groom pull me out on the dance floor, so happy I'm there, and wanting me to celebrate and dance with them, sans camera.
Or when I return to a family's home for a session and the children remember my name and can't wait to have some photos taken.
Or when I'm able to use my talents to raise money for incredible charities and give back to my community.
Those are my signs.
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Mary Kate McKenna is a lifestyle photographer in the Washington, DC area. Her work has been published in several magazines and newspapers including The Washington Post, The Washington Post Magazine, Washingtonian Bride & Groom, TheKnot, Get Married Magazine, Brides Magazine and Maryland Life Magazine. She lives with her husband and rescue dogs in Frederick, Maryland.
Website: MKMcKenna.com | Blog: MKsBlog.com | Twitter: DCPhotog
