by Deborah Ager, Bolt Digital Strategies
The online world is an enormous cocktail party. People arrive and depart at different times and everyone has the potential to offer something useful to the conversation. One advantage to the online
cocktail party is that you don’t have to dress up.
Although people ask me “how to act” on social media, the answers are not too different from how you should act offline. Some think the digital world is a fake world and that, therefore, it’s not an important one. However, the virtual digital world IS the world. Real people are behind those devices and tools we use to communicate with each other. The tools may have changed, but human nature has not.
How can you best participate in this large, evolving, and host-less cocktail party in a way that benefits you, others, and your brand? How can you observe the rules of society (etiquette) while using these
relatively new social tools?
Tip 1: Listen to Others
Social media is a conversation.
If you attend a virtual party, do you walk up to each person and say, “Please buy my ebook. Please buy my ebook. Please buy my ebook” and then walk away without letting the other people say a word? Most
people would not do that, yet they do it on Twitter when they tweet the same sales message multiple times in a row or post multiple sales-related Facebook updates. When I see a feed that only shows me
links to buy the person’s products, it’s a red flag. I won’t follow that person because I can see they are not listening or engaging.
Tip 2: Make it About Them
In response to someone who talked about themselves constantly, my friend once said, after listening patiently to the other person for a long time, “Okay. Now, let’s talk about me!” The person who got
carried away laughed at themselves and the conversation continued.
When you attend a party, do you make the rounds and talk about your accomplishments, your well-known graduate program, and the big award you just won? As wise people do at a cocktail party, get to know others by asking them their interests and needs. On social media, connect with people whose ideas excite and challenge you. Then, retweet those ideas or share them on other social media platforms. Share blog posts (written by others) that you enjoy. Always think about what you can offer others to help them with their personal and professional goals.
Tip 3: Be Careful with Requests
If you met someone at a party for the first time, would you ask them to buy your product? Would you ask them to 1) follow you on Twitter 2) join your Facebook community and 3) sign up for your email newsletter?
Too many times, after someone has followed me and I’ve followed back, I’ve received an automatic direct message (Auto DM) that asks me to follow the person on Facebook or, worse, to buy their product. This leads me to think they only followed me to get me to buy something or to get me to join their email newsletter list.
Good Use of Direct Messages (DM): Use a DM to ask a quick question or to share info you don’t want public (phone numbers/emails) with someone.
Tip 4: Vary Your Communications
Have you ever met that person who won’t stop talking about their kitchen remodeling project? When you see the person at the next party, they are still talking about the kitchen project. People tend to avoid
this person, because they know already what topic will be discussed.
On Twitter, it’s a good idea to offer multiple kinds of Tweets to keep people interested in what you’re saying and to interact with different kinds of people.
Two easy ways to vary your communications—and have fun in the process—are to participate in Twitter chats and ask questions. The chats encourage engagement with others. When you ask a question and
use a hashtag or have a substantial following, you’ll find that people respond with fantastic solutions, suggestions, and ideas.
Tip 5: Keep it Brief
Help people help you. When possible, write posts shorter than the 140-character limit in Twitter. Doing this allows others to retweet (aka sharing your message with others) you without having to edit your
message first. On Facebook, use clear language and interactive messages to communicate with people.
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Deborah Ager (@clickwisdom) is principal at Bolt Digital Strategies, LLC. She helps organizations creatively meet their objectives and get results through digital communications, marketing, and community building.
