Ever go to a networking event where you really want to meet new people but you wander around looking like you're looking for someone so you don't look out of place? Me too! I hate interrupting people but it's why I love hosting events, I have a reason to talk to each person without feeling like I'm interrupting. Everyone is uncomfortable when first approaching a group talking amongst themselves because we're humans and we hate rejection. If you don't figure out how to jump in & get started, you'll never even know if you would have been rejected & then what's the point of networking?
Networking isn't just about making business connections. It's about building relationships. Attending the same events over and over will allow you to keep seeing some of the same people and allows you to get to know them better over time. Don't forget to talk to people other than those you already know so you can continue to make great new connections.
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After throwing over 50 networking events in the last 30+ months, my top 5 tips for being awesome at networking are about being yourself:
1. Wear something comfortable but be yourself.
Most networkers tell you to wear a business suit when you network. My suggestion is to wear something that fits your personality and allows you to keep from fidgeting. If your tie has been tied all day long, loosen it up. If you heels are killing you, bring flats. If you're more comfortable in jeans, add a suit jacket to dress them up.
The days of power suits are long since gone, even in political DC, when it comes to networking. If you're the only one at the event in jeans, own it. You'll be remembered because you were rockin' them and everyone else was longing to be in theirs. Just make sure you're going to be confident walking up to anyone (CEO to intern) in whatever you're wearing.
2. Have a better lead-in question than "So, what do you do?"
Humans are not truly defined by their jobs. They have to talk about what they do all day every day. You probably don't want to talk just about your job either so lead the conversation. You can always talk about it later.
Find a question that is easy for you to say when you introduce yourself, such as: "How was your weekend?" "Have anything interesting going on?" "Do you tweet? What do you tweet about?"
3. Find the odd "man" out.
At every networking event, there's always one guy or gal standing around either on their phone or stirring a drink by themselves. They typically look either lost or very certain they should be alone. Go say hi and ask them their reason for attending that fine event. Even joking that they look like they don't know anyone & confiding that you don't either will help break the ice. You'll make a fast friend, even for just 5 minutes, and you'll both appreciate it.
4. Have a list of 3 things you can talk about.
So many times people go to networking events purely for business purposes. Didn't you just talk about work for 9 hours? Why would you want to talk about only that at happy hour? Sure, everyone is there for some reason, usually business... but no one honestly wants to talk about only work after work. It's why there are acronyms like TGIF.
Come up with 3 things you are interested in that other people might also be interested in. The latest technology, a really interesting new blog, new local restaurants, current events, etc. Try to stay away from political and religious stuff at networking events. You'll always be in for opposing opinions.
5. Be genuine.
You are you. Be that. If someone starts talking about something you aren't interested in or know nothing about, feel free to duck out of the conversation and find someone else to chat with. If you talk about work, leave the sales pitch home. Keep it quick & simple. People remember you better that way.
If you're not a straight-laced corporate type, don't act like it. Be careful to be more professional than you would be with friends but loosen up the tie a little and enjoy some real conversation. It's where professional relationships tend to start... with just a simple connection.
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Life is too short not to be yourself. Most networking events are too corporate & "good ol' boys club" for true relationship-building to happen. Find networking events that fit you and your style. If you wear jeans and a t-shirt to work, don't force yourself to put on a business suit to network. If you love events where people only pass out business cards, I'm happy to give you a list of them. There are events for everyone, go find yours! (Or just come to #DCTweetup & meet the people you tweet with! Suits or jeans welcome.)
